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abrown155 37, Female, Texas, USA - 2 entries

Aug 2007
2:28 PM CDT

I expect from others, is everything. I expect people to show me respect- love-courage-fun-passion. Everything. I guess that is why I get so disappointed all the time. I give everything I have to give, and I get nothing or little back from other.

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HarleyLawson 33, Male, Oklahoma, USA - 2 entries

Aug 2007
3:26 PM EDT

hey

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jesssie 33, Female, Canada - 69 entries

Aug 2007
1:17 PM EST

Dear friend,
You're my entire life. Where would I be without you? You are the person who shed light on every dark situation, you gave hope to me when I had run out. You lifted my spirits when they were six feet under, you've basically done more than I could have asked for.
Well, that's what I would like to think of you. The truth is, you're hardly ever there. You hardly ever help me in any situation. A lot of times, I really want to come to you, but you're not there for me. I hope you know I'd drop everything for you, I'd honestly do whatever it took to make you find your way in this life. You don't see it though, you don't want to get better. You don't want the help that I'm giving, or that anyone is giving. You run away from everyone who tries to come close.
I'm going to make a promise to you. A promise, that unlike you- I can guarantee I'll keep. I'm not going to make it so you can take advantage of it, or so you can walk all over me like im some kind of welcome home carpet in front of a door; no.
The promise is this : I will never leave your side. I will always be there when you need me. When you fall down, I'll help you up. When you finally recover from the state that you're in, I'll lead you back on the right path. You will do and be everything you've ever wanted.
You have to believe in yourself, in order for others to believe in you. It's clear to me that you have no idea on what direction you want to take in your life. You are so confused that you've resorted to be some kind of 'rebel'. I wish you knew how much it tears me apart; to watch you do this to yourself, and your family. I care about you so much, I love you so much; I need you, so much.
After everything I've done for you, you treat me like you take me for granted, i wouldnt be surprised if you actually do.

Well, please stop. Because the longer you continue to push me aside, the longer it will take for you to gain me back when you might just need me.
I love you, I want you to be better. I want you to care at least half as much as I do. And I know, thats not too much to ask from you.

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gigglebug278 50, Male, Kansas, USA - 3 entries

Aug 2007
12:31 PM EDT

hello

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nodeadends 19, Female, New York, USA - 29 entries

Aug 2007
10:28 AM EDT

It's about time for me to get off work and I have alot of crap to take care of. Dss is one of the places I have to go to. My son's arm needs to be checked out. I have to keep reminding myslef that I did what was right for him, well us. I dont want this situation to come back and bite me in the ass. zay doesnt is in for a suprise, she is will take dj her lovely little brother to the walk in clinic to have his stictches removed. They are crusted over and nasty looking, I told joey to take him to the emergency room to have it taken care of . Of course he didnt. What an asshole. He will will not be having any contact with dj, phone or otherwise. A court order to put distance between him and dj seems to be the next step. I am unsure about the process but it cant be that hard to decipher. I went to church yesterday, it was fine, he topic was "tell the devil to give me my stuffd my back. I was thinking hmm if the devil has it I am unsure whether I want it back.

But anyway, I spoke to the guy I have been chatting with via the lovely internet. From our chattering its evident there is no " love connection". He still lives at home with his momma. No Thanks. Curtis and I talked again about reconcilling and he mentioned that I am demanding. Which I readily acknowledge. I think he was suprised when I admitted that I still love him. Something keeps me wanting him and loving him. We been here before but nothing has come of it. I want to reach out to him, I have many fears, real as well as fabricated via my genius cerebellum.

During my last conversation with the pastor he remarked that he sensed that he could sense my affection for Curtis. Everybody who is aquainted with me is cognizant of how I feel about him. Perhaps this is what is preventing to entering into another relationship. God father once told me in order to get married, find a mate I first need to become single. This seems to be true in my case. I do love Curtis, but Iam not about to get rapped up in him like I once was. I cant decide what I should do if anything at all. He is definitley more upfront with his feelings. All my love for him amounts to the fact I cant marry him. Not that I dont want to one day, I cant marry someone I cant trust, with curtis you never know where you stand. I have to get out more, I am not about to be trippin' over shit I am powerless over.

Tags: Powerless

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jesssie 33, Female, Canada - 69 entries

Aug 2007
9:27 AM EST

Sometimes I feel selfish, because I want things to be all about me. And i guess, maybe that is a little selfish! But I really do try, I try to look out for my friends and family, I try to give them everything they deserve, and more. Sometimes I feel like no one appreciates anything I do- it makes me want to stop caring about anyone else but myself; i seem to be the only person who truly appreciates anything i give.
It hurts me when people say that they only care about themselves because they are just in this life for themselves. Okay, well that may be true, but why not make everyones lives a little easier while you're at it? Wouldnt you love if,a nice generous person gave you something or told you a piece of advice that changed your life forever? Maybe that has happened- and if it has, you know what im talking about.
Im not sure if i have ever had this experience, but i really hope one day someone starts to genuinely care about others. I dont mean giving them stuff, although thats always nice and I'd never complain.. but, im talking about respect here. Respect, dignity and everything else.
In Canada, since when is it okay to have sex with 88903482934 people before you reach adulthood? We're growing up too fast! We're not enjoying our childhoods. We don't do what kids used to do, and the only excuse people seem to come up with is 'times have changed, its different now'. WELL NO SHIT ITS DIFFERENT. but WHY? why did we let it come to this anyways? We brag about how many people we've slept with, all the things we've stolen and gotten away with, the drugs, the booze, the partying.
Where did our morals go? Since when is it some joke to lose your education and end up on the streets? Is this what we want our future kids to have to go through? WHY EVEN BOTHER WITH ANOTHER GENERATION! I know i wouldnt want my child growing up in todays society. Theres not enough good left, its all bad and immoral and nothing is what it seems. You can't trust anyone, you have to learn to have your guard up at all times.

It REALLY is sad when thats what it has come to. I'm not even 15 yet, and even I realize whats going on. Its not right.

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annisfavored 52, Female, Arizona, USA - 22 entries

Aug 2007
7:22 AM MDT

I Am Grateful That:

God understands that I am only human.
God gives me His grace.
God loves me.
God is on my side.
God is love.

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nodeadends 19, Female, New York, USA - 29 entries

Aug 2007
9:20 AM EDT

I am pissed off about the visit D.J. had with Joey. He told me someone touched and Joey informed me his D.J. is lying. I believe D.J. all the way it was the first thing that came out of his mouth. His girlfriend called me acting a fool; those two deserve each other, fuckin' drama magnets. My mother is calling me right now as I type this cant be good Hmm what do you know its about C.P.S. They are going to the daycare to talk to him about what happened. This was the right choice for me, as his mother it's my job to protect him at all cost. Mrs. Donna is not happy about having them in her home, but I don't give a damn. I didn't know they were coming to the daycare. What they told me is that they were going to setup an appointment with a reach worker. For his father to dismiss my son's remarks really pisses me off. I didn't tell my mother what went down in Virginia. Because I heard her say in the background I got my own problems. Then when I went over there she asked me what my attitude was about. I hurry up and left before I exploded on her. She is so freakin fake it pisses me off. Supposedly my children stay with her, but for the short time they were there she called and asked me when I was coming to pick them up. But Yolanda was there with her daughter and she didn't have a problem being bothered with them. I don't fuck with her either, because she is very ambivalent: Also because we are on two different plateaus. I am single parent, she isn't, she is religious and close minded and I am spiritual and open minded to many different things. Basically it's this I just want to separate/sever all ties with them.

I harbor a lot of resentment towards my mother, which is my justification for getting away from her. I am certain that she doesn't care for me, she is who she is and I am who I am.

I am going to do everything within my means to get my kids back and leave them the hell alone.

A lot of different shit is stressing me out, like moving, my day care provider and a whole bunch of other shit. She just hung up on me or we got disconnected.

Tags: Fucked up

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Alyanna 38, Female, Indiana, USA - 8 entries

Aug 2007
9:02 AM EDT

I started my first class today, and it was SO boring. I thought we'd do some activities or something. I also thought the professor wouldn't go through the syllabus word for word and the notes. I feel I'm going to do a lot better here. Since I'm back on my medication, I've been feeling a lot better...and I can concentrate better on my studies. Even though I'm back on my medication, I feel I may not pass one of my because it's so confusing. And I don't understand hardly anything. Anyway, all my other classes are basically easy A's. For now, I'm going to attend Ivy Tech Community College and do my prerequisites...then, transfer to Indiana University of Kokomo and major in Psychology...and then, I'll finally transfer back to Ball State University and major in Photography. And then sometime in the future get a major in Professional Writing.

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stizzylita19 39, Male, Massachusetts, USA - 6 entries

Aug 2007
7:33 PM EDT

it was an allright day it started off with me bringing my uncle to the hospital couse he couldnt see couse his contacts.than swang over to brittanys new apartment than home than back with the table for brittany than to the hospital than home again.than to brittanys again to drop off movie now im on the pc fixing my myspace up its comeing along good http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=62035230

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